"The people of this city, they call me San Demonio. I am savior to some, devil to others. To all, just.
This mask I wear is a harbinger." Excellent!
The dialect and dialogue are chef's kiss. Fantastic idea, going with the vigilante theme, justice for the people who need it most, I say. I like how I heard his voice so clearly in your writing, and see the picture you've painted so easily.
It was an absolute killer read. Are you posting more of this, San Demonio?
Since I have you here… you mentioned the dialect. Was there too much Spanish? I’m trying to give readers the sense of people speaking Spanish without doing the comic book thing where you put a little note at the end “translated from Spanish.”
I figured sprinkling in words here and there that are easy enough to get the meaning from context might accomplish that. But I was worried it was too much.
I was typing a reply, and my phone notified me that you replied again. So I'll post that here.
I'm a major lover of the revenge theme, superhero fun. Lots of my stories have the revenge theme, and they are so fun to write, probably stemming from a character flaw on my side of the spectrum, haha.
The lack of attention could be due to Father's Day weekend, and fewer people are online. On the other platform I'm on, I've noticed that things like that play a huge role in the attention on posts.
Your writing is one hundred percent addicting: the atmosphere, the dialect, the dialogue, and the character personalities are downright awesome. You're a pro at character voice, too. I like the little flares of Spanish. It adds to the atmosphere of your story.
If the words aren't detrimental to your storyline, then all is well that ends well. It's strictly flare for the people that don't understand. Don't apologize for lengthy comments. I enjoy the chats.
Wow! Thank you so much, Eris! I was starting to think this was a dud. Lots of reads but not much interaction. Could just be its way outside the sensibilities of most readers. It’s kind of in that supernatural superhero category.
Me doing interconnected serials (and novels) is a double-edged sword. It’s got good cross-pollination potential, but also, people looking for stuff like Spirits, might be less interested in stuff like this.
So, to finally answer your question…
This is the first chapter of a crossover arc that’s a ways down the line. So this specific story won’t come back for a while.
But… if enough people are interested, I can add San Demonio’s own story to the lineup, to cycle into the slot where How to Whack a Demon is right now.
This was such an entertaining read and has kept my attention until the end. I don't know why I was expecting a vaya con dios line somewhere in there 😅 Looking forward to discussing this with our group tomorrow ✨
This is such a good read. I am from Mexico, born in the state next to Mexico City and lived there until I was eight. When I saw this I smiled. I remember seeing the Lucha Libre wrestlers on TV when we went out to the butcher shop and to pick up fresh milk. You did a great job with the Spanish by the way.
I am probably a bit biased, but I felt like you did a good job at balancing the language. And, I like the premise too. I would love to read more of him. ☺️
Oh, thanks for considering checking some of my stuff out! There’s a good mix there: poetry, short stories, a serial. The poem called “Sky Goddess” got a good reception.
"The people of this city, they call me San Demonio. I am savior to some, devil to others. To all, just.
This mask I wear is a harbinger." Excellent!
The dialect and dialogue are chef's kiss. Fantastic idea, going with the vigilante theme, justice for the people who need it most, I say. I like how I heard his voice so clearly in your writing, and see the picture you've painted so easily.
It was an absolute killer read. Are you posting more of this, San Demonio?
Since I have you here… you mentioned the dialect. Was there too much Spanish? I’m trying to give readers the sense of people speaking Spanish without doing the comic book thing where you put a little note at the end “translated from Spanish.”
I figured sprinkling in words here and there that are easy enough to get the meaning from context might accomplish that. But I was worried it was too much.
And I’m sorry for these wordy responses…
I was typing a reply, and my phone notified me that you replied again. So I'll post that here.
I'm a major lover of the revenge theme, superhero fun. Lots of my stories have the revenge theme, and they are so fun to write, probably stemming from a character flaw on my side of the spectrum, haha.
The lack of attention could be due to Father's Day weekend, and fewer people are online. On the other platform I'm on, I've noticed that things like that play a huge role in the attention on posts.
Your writing is one hundred percent addicting: the atmosphere, the dialect, the dialogue, and the character personalities are downright awesome. You're a pro at character voice, too. I like the little flares of Spanish. It adds to the atmosphere of your story.
If the words aren't detrimental to your storyline, then all is well that ends well. It's strictly flare for the people that don't understand. Don't apologize for lengthy comments. I enjoy the chats.
San Demonio's my favorite, by the way.
Well, then, I guess I need to start outlining a serial for him :)
Thanks again. Your comments are always so encouraging.
Wow! Thank you so much, Eris! I was starting to think this was a dud. Lots of reads but not much interaction. Could just be its way outside the sensibilities of most readers. It’s kind of in that supernatural superhero category.
Me doing interconnected serials (and novels) is a double-edged sword. It’s got good cross-pollination potential, but also, people looking for stuff like Spirits, might be less interested in stuff like this.
So, to finally answer your question…
This is the first chapter of a crossover arc that’s a ways down the line. So this specific story won’t come back for a while.
But… if enough people are interested, I can add San Demonio’s own story to the lineup, to cycle into the slot where How to Whack a Demon is right now.
This was such an entertaining read and has kept my attention until the end. I don't know why I was expecting a vaya con dios line somewhere in there 😅 Looking forward to discussing this with our group tomorrow ✨
Thank you so much!
This is such a good read. I am from Mexico, born in the state next to Mexico City and lived there until I was eight. When I saw this I smiled. I remember seeing the Lucha Libre wrestlers on TV when we went out to the butcher shop and to pick up fresh milk. You did a great job with the Spanish by the way.
Wow! Thank you so much! I spent a lot of time trying to get the right amount of flavor without overloading non-Spanish-speakers.
I am probably a bit biased, but I felt like you did a good job at balancing the language. And, I like the premise too. I would love to read more of him. ☺️
Love your writing, Logan! It is extremely engaging. Can't wait for more!
I’ll let you know after I read something. Again, I really appreciate you checking out Lucha La Muerte. And for the encouragement :)
Very welcome!
Thanks so much, Alicia! What’s a good place to start with your work?
Oh, thanks for considering checking some of my stuff out! There’s a good mix there: poetry, short stories, a serial. The poem called “Sky Goddess” got a good reception.